Eggs. On the Pavement.

Cooked? Well, no.

As I stated yesterday, I though it was hot enough to cook an egg on the pavement. So today I tried that.

I brought the egg to room temperature to give it the best possible chance to get up to a cooked temperature.

 Here it is on the cooking surface

An hour and a half later and all that's happened is some evaporation and mealtime for the ants.

So even though its a million degrees out, it still isn't hot enough to cook an egg.

Hot part 2

How is it this hot and it's nowhere close to August? This is absurd. And it'll be even hotter tomorrow. I may just try to cook an egg on the pavement. For the heat here's The Crazy World of Arthur Brown.

And to try to cool off, here's Foreigner's Cold as Ice. 

Insomnia

I have a habit of not sleeping. Been that way for as long as I can remember. So last night, instead of sleeping, I decided to play around with youtube and wikipedia.

I looked at the band called The Cult and their song She Sells Sanctuary. Here is the video for it.

It said on their Wikipedia page that they're a goth band, but some of their other songs are way to catchy and not grody enough to be goth. If anything they sound more glam rock meets hair-metal.

But looking into goth-rock, it brought up something called gothabily, which then leads to a band called The Cramps. Here's their song Ultra Twist

Well, they got the goth look alright, and there's definitely a little bit of a rockabilly sound to it. There's also some punk undertones.

That's basically what I do when I can't sleep.

Olympics

I may actually have to watch the opening ceremony at the London Olympics. I don't think I've ever voluntarily watched anything to do with the Olympics in entire my life. The real reason, the main reason, the ultimate reason I will have to watch is because of this: the leaked playlist is nearly a complete copy and paste from my music collection on iTunes. With maybe an exception of about 20-25 songs, the complete list of 86 songs (found here and here if you have Spotify) is in my collection.

I think it says more about me than the songs chosen. Some articles are asking if people could do a better job, not as a complaint, but as a way to get people interested and interact with the article.

I started to wonder if I could come up with something that would be more English than the list. The only thing that came to mind was putting Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band on a continuous loop while standing in the rain outside Buckingham Palace, eating bubble & squeak or bangers & mash, complaining about something and being rude to foreigners. You lose one empire, and never hear the end of it.

Here's a helpful video explaining some things about the UK.

Grumble

It's hot. I want to move out of my apartment, but I don't have enough money to go anywhere better. I hate my neighbors, except for the one that just got broken into. I hate my job, but if I lose it I'm screwed. I hate looking for jobs. I'm tired. I don't sleep. I have a dozen aches that come and go.

And all this sounds like whining, which further annoys me.

And I have no idea where to start to make changes, which .

I'm reminded of a letter Stephen Fry wrote to someone who was also frustrated with life. It's at the site Letters Of Note. Here's an excerpt.

The wrong approach is to believe that they are illusions. They are real. Depression, anxiety, listlessness - these are as real as the weather - AND EQUALLY NOT UNDER ONE'S CONTROL. Not one's fault.

BUT

They will pass: they really will.

 If you don't know who Stephen Fry is, you really should find out. He's had quite a life.

I'm off to take a shower.

Success

Well, mostly

In spite of our competition tonight at trivia consisting of this:

we didn't actually manage to win it all. 

But that's not all bad, because if you get first place, you only win a gift certificate. If you manage 2nd or 3rd place, you actually get stuff. Like this t-shirt!

Soccer

Or, why I hate the "Beautiful Game" 

Apart from the fact that I wasn't brought up in a place or a time where soccer was the "it" game, I have several reasons why I just don't like it. I get that I'm an American, and to me, soccer is something kids play for a while before discovering their love of football or baseball or whatever. 

The Rules

Specifically the offside rule. It's complicated and depends far too much of human perception. It seems as if it's too many games could be decided/ruined by errant calls. Which then leads to...

Overtime

Just keep playing. Like in baseball, you should just keep going until the first team to score wins. Penalty kicks are never a satisfactory ending to any game. Getting to this point in a game brings up...

Playing Not To Win, but To Not Lose

It was evident in the last World Cup and in this years Eurocup that a lot of the teams were playing for a tie. In the words of Herm Edwards ,"Hello! You play to win the game!" You don't play for a tie; you don't play for fun; you don't play because it's something to do on an afternoon. You play to win. Anything less than that is unacceptable. 

Flopping

This. 

Nuff said.

Odds and Ends

This long standing history among each club and inane rivalries that everyone is just supposed to inherently  know about. The fact that players play on several different teams and often teammates play against each other. The idea of players being on loan to other clubs, which seems akin to being a man without country. ESPN and ABC force-feeding it to us every time there's some big tournament going on. Being told that soccer is the next big thing in America for the past 40 years. The disdain other countries have for Americans not referring to it as football. How every match between every country in Europe has to tie into or have some callback to the second World War. Being told these are the greatest athletes in the world. If they were the best surely they'd score more and flop less. 

To me, Soccer is one big inside joke that everyone gets except for me. And I'm OK with that. Once the NFL season starts up again, it'll all be gravy. 

Slow Motion

As the Dave Chappelle show pointed out, most things look better in slow motion.

So it got me thinking as to what were some good songs to play over something in slow motion. Maybe walking to check the mail, or pretending to run in place, or even doing the robot. Some of these have been used in film, TV shows, video games, etc. to enhance the slow motion effect.

I'd start off with Kasabian's Club Foot

Then, of course, is Massive Attack's Angel. 

This also coincides with my favorite scenes & songs in movies. Specifically, when its used in the movie Snatch. Also, to be frank, any Massive Attack song will do. And you could probably throw in anything by Portishead as well, like Glory Box.

Maybe not Daft Punk. They're relatively up-beat.

One that's come up recently is from Rockstar Game's Max Payne 3. It's a song called Tears by the group Health.

And, if you like to pretend to run in slow motion, the only real option is Coldplay. Again, any song will do, but I do prefer Paradise.

C'mon Man

C'mon Man

I mean seriously. It's not cool. It's ridiculous. I take a quick run to the store and I see this. 

These are at least 24"

You'd think it was for some redneck pimpmobile, but no. It was hooked up to a horsebox trailer. It's an actual work truck. Unless this is Charlotte's first mobile brothel, I can't see the purpose.

I'd hate to drive that over some railroad tracks. They might fit the tracks, though.

Hot

Summer is here

Both because of the date and because of the weather. The Heat Miser is really doing his job. 

Why do I like to go on about the weather? I'm not always moaning about it like the British, or more specifically, Karl Pilkington. But then again, he likes to moan about everything. Plenty examples exist on The Ricky Gervais Show, The Ricky Gervais Podcast, & An Idiot Abroad. 

Anyway, it really is very warm. I'm not going to say its global warming related, but others can go right ahead.  And that's about as close to the subject as I will get. I'm not getting into it; I don't want to hear about it from people on both sides being equally annoying and arrogant. 

Days like today are why I don't complain about it being cold in the winter. In fact, I'd prefer it to be cold than hot. I'm odd like that. 

The cooler months are just better. Football. Christmas. Thanksgiving. Snow. Way better.

Summer Solstice

The Day, not the car

Today is the longest day of the year. Or tomorrow. Well, it depends on your view. It's either the longest day with sunlight or its the first day of summer. Look, it's a day, just like all the others; the sun rises, and sets. I'm no astronomical expert, well not yet anyway. I am bound and determined to one day know everything. 

I realize this is a fools errand since there is always new information being created each day, but the way I figure it, most of it is inconsequential. Kinda like background noises when you're walking down a busy street having a conversation. And I do realize that there are some that would rather not know the answers to life's many questions. To steal a line from Cave Johnson:

[it] isn't about why, it's about why not!

Anyway, I can always learn to fake it. 

The solstice probably has many pagans running around celebrating it in many different ways. Most notably around Stonehenge. People have been going there for, well, not as long as some would think. I think it's been relatively recent. And it isn't even a real henge, so says QI. But, hey, who cares? It's not they're hurting anyone. To quote Homer Simpsons:

God bless those pagans

You can be assured that somewhere, someone is burning a wicker man in effigy. Or just a DVD of the 2006 remake starring Nicholas Cage. 

Or just rocking out to Iron Maiden.

Swag

This Swag, not this swag

I like trivia nights at pubs/restaurants. If I had an actual job that was during the day, I'd be able to go to more of them. Subsequently, I can't get to them as much as I'd like, but when I do I try my best to win. Well, at least get something. Like this:

And here's one from a while back:

I consider it to be my swag from the evenings. 

Movie Time

Or perhaps Movie Sign

Went to see Prometheus. I enjoyed it. Wasn't really all that scary, despite the trailer's best efforts. Nevertheless it was still good.

Snagged this as we waited for the trailers to start.

Confused Picard is confused. 

That's good timing.

Fathers Day

Dad's Day

Today is fathers day. My father is hundreds of miles away, and I'm not likely to see him until Christmas. Everyday, and with the passing of the years, I finds myself becoming more and more like him. Be it the way I'll say something, the way I think about something, or my general attitude about something.

I've worked with kids for years, mostly as a disciplinarian, and a lot of the things I've said to them were things my father said to me. No, not the "You dipshit!" or "Your ass is grass!" comments, but the "What were you thinking? You weren't thinking!"

Life at home wasn't all about reprimands and strict rules. There were many good things, like learning to throw a baseball, learning basic carpentry, plumbing, electrical, & mechanical stuff. There was always the knowledge that dad could fix everything and that problems could always be solved. It's taken me years to appreciate this. I was driving around listening to Led Zeppelin, and I realized that there was a very good possibility that my dad was doing the same thing, in the same type of car, when he was my age.

So, I've come to accept my fate, that even if I don't have children of my own, I have a pretty good foundation to build off of. Well, certainly better than these guys.

Random Thoughts

I have random thoughts throughout the day. Usually they're in the form of questions. Nothing as in depth as "why are we here? or "what's life all about?" They're mostly along the lines of

If a pig loses its voice, does it become disgruntled?

Or,

If glue is sticky, why doesn't it stick to the inside of its container? 

Or even,

 What's another word for synonym?

I was wondering if there is a real life counterpart to the Golden Girls; are there women who've reached a certain age that decide to move in together down in Florida?

See, nothing as deep as Deep thoughts by Jack Handy.

Anyway, I'm off to go do something. Probably not that much fun, but, hey, that's what happens when you get older. C'est la vie.

Good Days, Bad Days

Some days you win, other days you lose.

Some days you eat the bear, other days the bear eats you.

Some days you just need to sit back, relax, recharge, and put everything aside.

Brit-land

I am quite an anglophile. Not sure how, why, where, or when it started. I just know I am. For years I just tended to gravitate towards their culture. The majority of the TV I watch is from the UK. The majority of the bands I listen to are from the UK. The majority of the movies I see have someone from the UK in them. I can play six degrees of separation with most of the British actors out there. I've been there several times, as well.

I know it's not the coolest thing in the world. May actually be the furthest thing from it, but I don't care. I have tried, over the years, to get others interested in some of what I like watch or listen to. This usually doesn't end well. Everything except for Garth Marenghi's Darkplace has met with grumblings and moans. In fact the only way I convinced anyone to watch it was to tell them it was Australian.

So, perhaps in the months to come, I'll probably spend a few days here and there talking about the different stuff I've found interesting. Of course there will always be some little pieces of England lying around. You just have to look for it.

Drink

This:

Plus this:

Equals drink that tastes like this:

http://www.cafelatte.com/desserts.html

It's Raining, It's Pouring

It's been raining for a few days now. Really raining. Like monsoon type raining. And it's been humid too. yet no thunder.

Well now that I've completed the rhyme and bored myself, let's see if I can come up with something interesting.

When I'm bored and have nothing to do, I'll check out Armor Games to see what's new. I enjoy the Papa series of games. Papa's Burgeria, Papa's Taco Mia, Papa's Freezeria, and Papa's Pancakeria. There's a pizza one somewhere, but I'm not sure where it is.

You can also check out some pop-art from different artists. People like Mister Hope, for instance.

Copyright MisterHope.com

I like it. The style is simple, effective, and different. He's also got a coloring book for sale over on Etsy. 

Maybe I'll post more about pop-art in some later posts.

You're never too old...

You're never too old to learn something new.

You're never too old for chocolate milk.

You're never too old to rock and roll.

You're never too old for gummy vitamins.

You might be too old to breastfeed, though.

To Infinity

And BEYOND

I watched a program by Stephen Hawking about the possibility of God creating the universe. Inevitably he came to the conclusion that there was no God, afterlife, or anything else besides all that is already in existence in  the universe.

I'm not shocked, surprised, angry, in agreement, or disagreement. The way in which he came to this conclusion was incredibly brilliant and just a bit mad. And it makes sense. You could take it as the final proof that there is no God, or, if you're of faith, you could use it to reaffirm your beliefs. 

Basically, subatomic particles pop into and out of existence all the time and aren't governed by some of the same physical laws larger pieces of matter are. The universe started out as something this small which then expanded into something massive - the universe. It was therefore possible for the universe to exist before time existed because time, as a construct, wouldn't have existed if the space that would contain it also didn't exist. 

I know.....wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey. 

But it makes sense. 

Look, in our universe, things happen as reactions to previous actions; cause and effect. Time in this universe only existed when this universe began. Before the universe began, there was no such thing as time. Stuff would have just happened. After the big bang, time started, and was then linked to space, matter, and energy. 

I know its probably easier for most to think that it was all just popped into existence by a kind and loving deity, and maybe it did. Maybe God is in the science. 

Alright, it's hard to get. I know. So let's just say we exist because we do. OK?

Here's some cartoons.

Seein' Double Double

Double Vision

Rearranged my bedroom, worked a bit, started a grocery list, made some phone calls home, & ate ice cream. Eating ice cream is, by far and away, the most important. There is no debating this, it just is. 

I do genuinely enjoy days that I have something going on, or have something that needs to be accomplished. 

Setting small goals and reaching them makes days better. It's the bigger goals I seem to have trouble with. 

Anyway, Drunken Lullabies by Flogging Molly came on the iPod and it brought back a lot of good memories.

Do you come from the land down under?

Where women glow and men plunder?

I had to reset my cable box and this came up.

I don't know why I find this ominous

Maybe it's an inherent and unconscious fear of non-living things becoming more human; the theoretical Uncanny Valley. That's a bit Isaac Asimovian.

Or perhaps it's slightly more along the lines of a 1984, Orwellian type of a feeling of unease. 

Or maybe it's a throwback to Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451. The fear that TV will become the only way we learn and reading is archaic. 

Then again maybe I'm wary of some type of Skynet becoming self-aware and destroying the world. 

I should really learn to stop worrying. 

 

Uh...Yeah, That's the Ticket

Today I was not awoken by the sound of thumping bass. Could today be the beginning of better times ahead? Only time will tell. My pessimistic side says it's not likely. Still, we live and hope.

It really is all we gotta do.

I did miss out on some stuff tonight, so I ordered pizza. Which was late. And not completely right. But - they did just give me another pie for on charge. Winning? Winning.

Now all I need to do is use my new-found powers to get a better career. 

All in all, it's been a cursed frogurt kinda day. 

Food

A quick and simple chicken stir fry where all you need is a microwave & a Foreman grill.

1. Microwave veggies in their "steam" bag
2. Cook chicken
3. Cut chicken up and mix with veggies
4. Stir in soy sauce, Dijon mustard, garlic powder, and dried basil

Serve over rice if you prefer. 

Que es un dia

Basically, I'm stuck between 2 apartments, both of which have subwooffers in them. I've complained, but I doubt it will make much difference. I really do just want to move out. The major problem with that is the fact that I'm underemployed. What that means is I can only really afford where I am, or someplace not that great.

Ideally, I think I'd be happiest living in a manor house in the middle of nowhere and spent my days caring for the property. I know, it sounds a bit too Downton Abbey. A bit too silly. But to me it isn't silly at all.

I think that I'd be happy there, so long as it wasn't actually the early 20th century and I had to worry about the Kaiser. In fact I should have used the word "dickety" because, as Grandpa Simpson said,

We had to say "dickety" 'cause that Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty"

Tomorrow, fingers-crossed, I will finally bring home my suits. If I'm really lucky, these should be the only suits I'll ever need to own.

Anyway, here's ELO with Turn to Stone.

Music

I went and got a few albums today. Lets see if this little Grooveshark widget works:

 

The Kaiser Chiefs album Start the Revolution Without Me, which is actually a reissue of the album posted above, is mostly the same as the original album. Called The Future is Medieval, it was released differently in the UK. They had a digital copy you could pick and choose different songs from. 

I also got a few Queen albums, an Electric Light Orchestra album, a Pink Floyd album, and, yes, Coldplay's latest album. I know not everyone likes them, but I do. So there.

But that's not all! For a buck I got these.

That's right - Dark Side of the Moon coasters. 

Life

To me, I don't agree with Forest Gump and his mama's assumption that life is like a box of chocolates. I think life is more like a handful of jelly beans, because, with life, you kinda know or at least have a feeling about what you're gonna get.

Most day's you know what to expect from life, like with a blue jelly bean. You know its gonna most likely be blueberry. Sometimes you have days that turn out completely different than what you were expecting. Like not being able to tell if its chocolate pudding, Dr. Pepper, or root beer. You just don't know until you taste it.

And sometimes you get completely fooled. You pick up what you think is and should be strawberry jam, and then it turns out to be centipede flavored.

Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys

The French are quite bizarre. An article over at the Guardian has a slideshow of French children's books. These books make you wonder if the French's French-ness is just being self perpetuated by a the older generations. Or, perhaps, French children are actually different from everyone else and do actually crave such bizzare books. Here are a few examples from the article.

The ABC's of Anger

About a large woman that sucks children out of their windows and puts them up her skirt

The full article along with complete slideshow, written by Jenny Colgan, is here.

If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you

Start of with a joke:

Why is a pirate called a pirate? Because they Arrrrrrrrrrr!

Anyway.... This post is more of a test to see if the link with Facebook actually works. I'm also still trying to figure out the best way to present this blog. What I mean is do I let it be loose and unstructured, or try something with more composition? I could do what I used to do on my old blog, which was just a picture followed by words. I like the idea of something structured like Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback column for Sports Illustrated. 

The drawback with it being structured in such a way is that I would have to stick to the same thing every day, but plan ahead. A little forethought is always good, but when I'm writing daily I think I'd rather let it flow freely. Besides, if this is going to become the template or future posts, I'd have to come up with a joke each day. I did find my joke encyclopedia, so there's no worries there. 

But moving on, I think all that is taking it a bit to seriously. I'll just let it happen naturally. 

See, there's my stream of consciousness. That was a part of my mind given to you. Hopefully you weren't thinking, "Ain't nobody got time for that!"

Well to end with something fun here's some Kids in the Hall!